Letter #6

Dear Baby Sister,

so i have realized it has been sometime since i have written you a letter, so i am going to take some time to do that now.

the other day when we went to that AA meeting together you got mad at our mom and said you feel like no one is on your side and like no one is realizing how good you are doing. well let me tell you i see it. you are doing really good. there is so much stuff you could be doing rite now that is not good, like going out and getting drunk or high, and running away, even being out passed curfew. but you are not doing any of that, instead you are sucking up your pride and staying around, doing what you are told, and behaving. you are trying to do better for yourself and those around you. im so proud of you. i really am. it shows how good you really are, and how much you do want to change.

you are such a strong little girl to be able to put up with our mom and everything she puts you through on a daily basis. i know how hard it is to be around her every day, being told what to do, and feeling like you are stuck in a 3 by 3 cage. its not easy. but you still deal with all of that and move forward.

your going to go far in life if you keep this up. remember you are the only one that can bring you down, keep your head up and remember nothing comes easy you have to work hard for what you want and eventually if you really want something you can get it. keep doing what you are doing. dont let anyone tell you your not good enough, because you are.

dont look down on yourself you are a great person. you have sone so many things in your life that were passed by and not given enough credit, but thats ok. you dont always have to get credit for doing good things. only God can judge you. all you need is his aproval and trust me lil girly he has given you so much credit. he has given you all the credit you deserve.

you can do this. prove to everyone how strong you really are and how much fight you have in you to get what you want and what you deserve. keep fighting because at the end of every fight in some way you recieve satisfaction. and i dont mean physical fights by the way. you know what i mean.
dont let anyone push you off the path you want to be on. when you figure out what it is you want go for it and dont let anyone stop you. if you believe you deserve it then you do.

life works in weird ways. remember that.

and remember i am always here when you need me for anything, you have my number all you have to do is pick up the phone and dial those 7 numbers, and ill be there. dont give up yet little one, so all this stuff that seems like it was for nuthing is going to pay off, you'll see.

i love you my lil seeeeeter

~ your big seeeeeeter!!!

letter #5

Dear Baby Sister,

Today is your birthday! Happy birthday lil gurl! you are now 15!!! haha.


so i know this birthday is probably not going to be as great as you want it because well you cant go get fucked up n shit. but thats really ok. you dont always have to be fucked up to have fun. i mean its your birthday your are another year closer to being 18 and getting ta do almost whatever you want. so hang in there give it some time and be patient honey cuz the day is going to come soon then you think.
trust me when i was 15 i thought "oh my gawd the next 3 years are going to suck!!!" but they go by pretty quickly. just focus on other things, like school. get that bullshit out of the way as soon as possible so you can go on to big and better things.

this year has been crazy. so much happened in one year i really dont even know what to say about it all/ alot of good, and a lot of bad. we both grew up alot more, and learned alot about life and ourselfs. i sit here and thing about just last year and think "OMG what were we thinking!!!" but oh well it was fun!!!

well i hope this year is just as good for you as last. maybe without all the gettin into trouble non sence and all but just as fun. it has ta be a  fun year itz 2012!!! so its gotta be a good year. this is the year everyone has been waitin for fer like ever haha. so its going to be good well make sure of it!!!

Well HAPPY MF BIRTHDAYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love you my little sister. be good ok!


luv,
your big seeeeeester!!!

Letter #4

Dear Baby Sister,

i know things are rough right now and there is alot that doesnt make sence. like moms attitude. and how everyone around us is acting. but its ok, we both know that growns up these days have never really grown up. they just go around acting like lil children blaming each other for theyre problems. life is just a blame game it seems. but i want you to know im really proud of you. you are doing exactly what you need to. you are fallowing your probation guild lines and not running even though its not easy and you want to run. that rite there shows you are more grown up then any of these so called "grown ups". seriously they need to mature up and take a good look in the mirror and realize the mistakes they have made are all on them, not each other. but like that will ever happen.

 i know rite now you feel broken, lost, and confused, but i want you to know that feeling will not be there forever. one day you are going to find your way. one day everything will be ok and for the most part make sence. you just need to stay patient and keep fighting for what you want and need. show everyone how strong you really are. show them you cant be pushed down. you may bend at times and seem weak, but you will always bounce back and become even stronger then before. let them test your limits. you know you are good enough to fight through anything. look at all you have been through and you will know you are strong for making it this far. dont give up yet. it has to get bad before it gets better.

you know i love you and you really mean everything to me. i would do anything for you as long as it made you happy. you know i am always here for you. im just a phone call away. and you know even if you cant call i am still here and always will be. im always thinking about you and hoping you are ok. when i dont here from you for a couple days it scares me. 

stay strong baby sister, and remember who you really are. i luv u!

~ your big Seeeeeeester!!!

Letter #3

Dear Baby Sister,
hey so last night was pretty tuff huh? trying to get how we feel across and tryingto get her to understand isnt easy. its like having a war with yourself. running around in circles trying so hard and getting no where. it all just leads to frustration, Anger, and the feeling of failure. its no fair.

seems as if alot of things in our life are unfair and hard to understand. but i guess thats what life is. everyone always says lifes unfair. so why sould we thing that is ever going to chance? im really not sure. But that doesnt mean we should give up on her. atleast not yet. because then we are going gto feel even more like failures. we need to keep trying. not tryingt o change her, but trying to understand her. why she does what she does. why she says the things she does. because once we understand that more then maybe things will start changing.

like when she gets stressed out she gets mean. and you know we stress her out alot. we havent been the best to her in our lifes. we have done alot of creul n messed up things just as she has. we have made mistakes just as she has. so maybe we need to appologize to her. tell her that we are sorry for all the pain we have caused to her. maybe that will help her to be able to appologize to us.

i think that will be the first step in trying to make things work. once we are able to appologize to each other and realize what has happened happened and we cant change that. then we will be able to accept each other and build a new relationship. and hopefully make a family. it wont be easy and we are going to have to keep working hard and not give up. but we have to remember we cannot change her, we can only change ourslefs to be able to accept her.

and we can do this. if we can do everything else that we have and be pretty much ok. then we can work together to accept our mom for who she is and not who we want her to be. because face it she will never be this awesome mother that is like a best friend to us. she is who she is and thats ok. we have to let her know that that is ok.

well lil seeeeeeester this is going to be tough but we can do it i know we can!


luv u lil seeeeeeeter

XoXo  ~ Your big Seeeeeeester

Letter #2

Dear Baby Sister,

hey lil one, so im really glad i got to spend thanxgiving together. i had alot of fun with you. i think that the last few days were the first days in a long time i have been really happy. i realized how much i really missed you.

i loved being at the school running around with the dogs, playing on the play ground, finding those dinosours. it made me feel like a lil kid again and that was amazing. we had nothing to worry about for that short little time and it was great. and pretending to steal the car on the play ground was fun too.

just getting to finally sit around and talk was fun too. and pretending to smoke bowl cuz probations a bitch. haha.

gawd i missed you. but im glad your back now and you better not do anything to get introuble again cuz then im gunna go to jail for kickin your ass. haha. well find things to do sober. it cant be that hard. like going to the YMCA and tryingto find the worlds greatest ant hill. i dont know but we can do this.

and the terribly funny thing that we did that no one but us, mom, madi, n jesecha knows bout. haha. gawd i swear sometimes we are jus too damn bad. haha. i have taught you well my darling. keep up the good work haha. and when see he sees that the look on his face will be priceless. kodak moment fer shizz. hes got alot comin to him haha. hope hes prepared for it cuz if not hes gunna have a hell ofa time tryin to stay up. but i guess thats how the cookie crumbles.

so i say this was one hellava thanxgiving. i had hella fun. the mostest fun iv had all year haha. i love all our devious little plans to getting the kids back and putting our family back together which is going to happen!!! well get em all back. haha.

well lil seeeeeeester i must go to bed now cuz im exhasted!

goodnyte,

XoXo your bigSeeeeeeeester

Letter #1

Dear Baby Sister,

   hey there girly! so its 2:13am in the morning right now and i decided to make you a blog. kinda like the letters i used to write you and send to you. well i decided to start doing that again only in blog forum. so im going to write a blog for you hopefully every day. i really hope that you enjoy it. 

so as you know you are one of the most important people in my life. we have been threw so much together no doubt bout that. the crazy thing is how we managed to make it through all of that almost in one piece. what doesnt kill us only makes us stronger right? and damn lil sis we are two strong bitches!!! 

im glad i had you as my partner in crime for all these years. we had some pretty good times together. the fun and the extremely fun. yea we've done some pretty stupid things and gotten ourselves into some situations we didnt know if we'd be able to get out of, but we did. we managed to bring out the best in eachother and help each other get out of the deepest darkest holes.

we were there for each other when no one else was. and when it seemed as if everyone else was giving up on us we believed in each other and kept ourselfs going. we took care of each other and taught each other life lessons.

you mean the world to me lil sissy. i have no clue where i would be without you. you have helped me more then you realize. you are my bestfriend and always will be. 

i love you lil seeeeeeeester!!!

XoXo  ~your big seeeeeeeeester!!!!